Confession of an artist

I like very much to sit in one corner of my room and try to visualize things. I know most of them will never be materialized; yet it gives me a lot of pleasure. Not that I never have the desire to move out of my corner at times. But not for long durations. I have duties and responsibilities to perform. I am surely aware of that.

The corner of my room I need to calm down myself. Inside me my mind wishes to work alone. Crowd makes me feel disturbed. All my thoughts get scattered and go astray. I cannot concentrate on my work. I feel apprehensive. So I need to be alone at times according to my wish, though not always, to think clearly, to look at my surroundings vividly, to understand nature perfectly, and express my thoughts distinctly. The expressions of my thoughts, in whatever form they be, should reflect the knowledge and vision that I have gained through imagination, observation, experience and wisdom. Not that I do not like company of other people. Only my mind needs some free space to work out things clearly.

When I feel sad everything becomes too heavy to bear. I feel depressed. On the contrary, when I am happy I feel I can pull the entire burden myself alone. I feel happy just as I accomplish a task, just as I take a step forward. Then I feel I must accomplish more such things and I will surely succeed in my mission.

Overall I surely feel that my mission will be successful. Some people will surely remember my works. Just then I feel I must keep up my good work. That helps to keep me right on track. I know I have to keep on trying to accomplish my mission alone. Even if I succeed a little in giving something good and everlasting to mankind and reveal the eternal truth, and thereby serve my God, I shall not feel that my life has been wasted.

Translation into English based on the Bengali works (essay) of Rabindranath Tagore

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